Splatterblog!

STAR WARS PEOPLE: This is hella worth your time

MegaJoshX — Wed, 28 May 2008 11:40:18 +0000

Read that shit in sequence. Top to bottom. Don’t skip ahead. Tabbed browsing FTW. Ba ba ba baaaadaaasssss.

Donation Update

MegaJoshX — Sat, 24 May 2008 16:56:02 +0000

ONE THOUSAND FOUR DOLLARS AND NINETY TWO CENTS

FROM RIDICULOUSLY HELPFUL PEOPLE THAT ALL DESERVE HANDJOBS

EXCEPT FOR THE LADIES

WHO DESERVE SOMETHING ELSE BESIDES HANDJOBS

BUT CHICKS GET PISSED WHEN I TALK ABOUT THEM IN WEIRD WAYS LIKE I DO SO I CAN’T SAY HANDJOBS

BUT IT SHOULD STILL BE SOMETHING VERY NICE

mwah

the following is unrelated

O_O

MegaJoshX — Fri, 23 May 2008 14:23:03 +0000

We have made $809.20 before the first fish fillet has even been fried.

Your collective generosity, people, is absolutely staggering. Thank you - all of you, including the random goodwill strangers brought here by the blogs of others - for helping my Mom in her time of need. I swear by all I hold Holy that I shan’t use your donations for new Transformers.

I’ve been rendered rather wordless. I feel like a douche for putting this out there in the first place, but what you’ve done (and continue to do…as it seems money is still rolling in) will truly help the family’s situation a great deal.

“Thanks” just doesn’t seem enough. It is my sincere hope that the karmic implications of your assistance deeply impact your lives…in a fashion that reverberates throughout the totality of them. I want the echoes of your charity to clang against the confines of your skulls. Feel good about yourselves, and don’t forget that you’ve done a positive thing here. I know I sure as hell won’t.

Maynard Fish Fry/Donation Extravaganza

MegaJoshX — Wed, 21 May 2008 19:01:00 +0000

SO. Everyone here should probably know by now what the deal is with my mom…if not, allow me to summarize with some TL;DR. Fucking Splatterblog just ate a good chunk of this post, so I’m gonna have to use linkage:

…

My mom won’t wake up.

One Surprise Brain Surgery Later

Mother, I tap this card for you:

from yon mountainops

Crazy Shit My Mom Has Said Since Brain Surgery

need more vibes

i want candy

Bummertown

We finally got to take her home on Friday, 05/16/08. Tons more has happened that I’ve omitted. It’s been a rough couple of months. Her being trapped at the hospital for so long…scared, confused, not able to trust her own brains…probably the worst aspect of all of this. She still talks crazy sometimes. Cannot walk, or go to the bathroom without assistance…but even the most casual observer can see that she’s improved drastically. We get conflicting data from her 2 docs - one, her oncologist, who says she does NOT have cancer and that the chemo port installation was just a precautionary measure, and TWO - her doc at the hospital, who says that she does INDEED still have cancer and was a total bag of dicks when he dropped the news. We find out in a month after her next MRI what the actual deal is, and we remain hopeful.

Duppy55 scant moments before Brain Surgery:

Duppy55 a few weeks after Brain Surgery:

However - and this here is where we get down to the meat and potatoes - the Social Security benefits are still potentially a year off. Our combined personal savings are gonna run out in three months.

CUE THE FISH FRY.

FUCK THE BREAST CANCER FISH FRY BENEFIT!!

“Come join our family for some food and fun as we help raise money for Ann “Duppy” Maynard!”

Sunday, May 25th from 12:00 PM to 4:00 PM
The Lucky Strike Bar
130 North Broadway street
Fellsmere, Florida
32948

$5.00 Fish Fry Dinners

A Moonwalk for the Kids

Face Painting

Arts-n-Crafts

Live Music

Bake Sale

Raffles and Prizes

NOW. I realize that most of you don’t live anywhere near me. That’s totally cool. I do not expect you to hop in a plane and fly down to the hot, ridiculous asspit that the local swamp chieftains call fuckin’ FELLSMERE as they shield their leathered and weary faces from the oppressive glare of the sun and spend 5 bucks on a meal o’ fresh fish. In truth, I don’t dig the place either…I spend my life actively fleeing the orb of fire around which we rotate, moving as quickly as I can from air-conditioned location to air-conditioned location. If I’m outside for any extended period, trust me: It’s because I am forced to be there and have no control over the situation. This may be the third, perhaps fourth time I’ve endured such a thing for what could be construed as “a greater good”…most of the events I count amongst this number have been weddings, but those are stories that need not be told. What I am trying to illustrate here is that I absolutely despise being hot.

What I would appreciate, however, is people donating cash to my Mom’s paypal account at skip5dup@hotmail.com. One dollar, ten dollars, a quarter…whatever’s clever. Any bit of scratch you can sling my family’s way would be awesome.

There are elements of my life that have been on my ass to play on people’s sympathies in the manner in which I am now doing…I’ve been avoiding this with the same force I avoid stabbing myself in the genitals. This is not a place I wanted to go yet, but I cannot argue that the need for it is looming. Sucks, but it’s true…I’m hella not sure how we’re gonna handle things once the savings run out.

That said: I set my pride aside. Times be tough. You’d be doing me a solid by donating any amount you can.

NYAAARRGGGHHHHHHH

MegaJoshX — Mon, 19 May 2008 22:29:09 +0000

Ah ree ell, leesen to me. da huu mann wurld, iz a mess.

MegaJoshX — Sat, 17 May 2008 19:54:41 +0000

LIFE UNDAH DA SEE, is bedda den anyting dey got up dere!

da sea weed is always greenah, in sum bod ee else-

HOLY TAPDANCING FUCK

AHHHH

CHRIST WTF

My Personal Experiements In Feline Communication

MegaJoshX — Sat, 17 May 2008 17:24:27 +0000

Conducted just twenty minutes ago! This is exclusive video.

Clickz0r HERE if the above clip doesn’t work. My blog is all tarded about youtube.

Happenings

MegaJoshX — Fri, 16 May 2008 17:57:51 +0000

I am now leaving the office to take my Mother home from the hospital, which has released her into my Father’s care.

Thankyougoodbye.

Congratulations to All West Coast Faggots

MegaJoshX — Thu, 15 May 2008 17:36:55 +0000

You can get married in California now. Seriously, awesome!

I jacked this news from TheWalkingMan, who - though I have no proof as of yet - I suspect to be amongst your number. Thanks, Joe! Always cool to hear some GOOD news coming out of my blood-drenched war machine of a fucking country.

This is HELLA a step in the right direction, America. You for real just made my day.

lolactica

MegaJoshX — Wed, 14 May 2008 21:18:24 +0000

Via

nibiru ftw

MegaJoshX — Wed, 14 May 2008 16:42:40 +0000

NASA to Announce Success of Long Galactic Hunt

In forty five minutes, NASA will announce the discovery of an object in our Galaxy astronomers have been hunting for more than 50 years. Could this be the famed hypothetical planet Zecharia Sitchin is alleged to have uncovered in ancient Sumerian texts? Is verification of the legendary Nibiru just beyond the cusp of the current hour?

Quoth Wikipedia:

Sitchin’s theory proposes the planets Tiamat and Nibiru. Tiamat supposedly existed between Mars and Jupiter. He postulated that it was a thriving world in a much differently shaped solar system, with jungles and oceans, whose orbit was disrupted by the arrival of a large planet or very small star (less than twenty times the size of Jupiter) which passed through the solar system between 65 million and four billion years ago. The new orbits caused Tiamat to collide with one of the moons of this object, which is known as Nibiru. The debris from this collision are thought by the theory’s proponents to have variously formed the asteroid belt, the moon, and the current incarnation of the planet Earth.

More @ Enigma Report

I get my new phone tomorrow

MegaJoshX — Mon, 12 May 2008 23:14:20 +0000

My current phone is fubar. The screen is all fucked up.

So for a paltry 50 bucks I got me a T MOBILE DASH. HELLZ YAH PEOPLE. WIFI? BECAUSE IT’S AWESOMEFI.

This is most

Fuck Religious Fundamentalists

MegaJoshX — Mon, 12 May 2008 18:01:49 +0000

via Razzle

‘My daughter deserved to die for falling in love’

Two weeks ago, The Observer revealed how 17-year-old student Rand Abdel-Qader was beaten to death by her father after becoming infatuated with a British soldier in Basra. In this remarkable interview, Abdel-Qader Ali explains why he is unrepentant - and how police backed his actions. Afif Sarhan in Basra and Caroline Davies report

Afif Sarhan in Basra and Caroline Davies
The Observer,
Sunday May 11 2008
Article history

About this article

This article appeared in the Observer on Sunday May 11 2008 on p8 of the News section. It was last updated at 18:26 on May 12 2008.

For Abdel-Qader Ali there is only one regret: that he did not kill his daughter at birth. ‘If I had realised then what she would become, I would have killed her the instant her mother delivered her,’ he said with no trace of remorse.

Two weeks after The Observer revealed the shocking story of Rand Abdel-Qader, 17, murdered because of her infatuation with a British soldier in Basra, southern Iraq, her father is defiant. Sitting in the front garden of his well-kept home in the city’s Al-Fursi district, he remains a free man, despite having stamped on, suffocated and then stabbed his student daughter to death.

Abdel-Qader, 46, a government employee, was initially arrested but released after two hours. Astonishingly, he said, police congratulated him on what he had done. ‘They are men and know what honour is,’ he said.

Rand, who was studying English at Basra University, was deemed to have brought shame on her family after becoming infatuated with a British soldier, 22, known only as Paul.

She died a virgin, according to her closest friend Zeinab. Indeed, her ‘relationship’ with Paul, which began when she worked as a volunteer helping displaced families and he was distributing water, appears to have consisted of snatched conversations over less than four months. But the young, impressionable Rand fell in love with him, confiding her feelings and daydreams to Zeinab, 19.

It was her first youthful infatuation and it would be her last. She died on 16 March after her father discovered she had been seen in public talking to Paul, considered to be the enemy, the invader and a Christian. Though her horrified mother, Leila Hussein, called Rand’s two brothers, Hassan, 23, and Haydar, 21, to restrain Abdel-Qader as he choked her with his foot on her throat, they joined in. Her shrouded corpse was then tossed into a makeshift grave without ceremony as her uncles spat on it in disgust.

‘Death was the least she deserved,’ said Abdel-Qader. ‘I don’t regret it. I had the support of all my friends who are fathers, like me, and know what she did was unacceptable to any Muslim that honours his religion,’ he said.

(more…)

Saturday Image Dump

MegaJoshX — Sat, 10 May 2008 13:08:40 +0000

(click for bigger)

MegaJoshX — Fri, 09 May 2008 12:10:06 +0000