Splatterblog!

Notice how Mark just ignores me being retarded…doesn’t skip a beat.  It takes a special kind of dude to be my partner.  I like to think that we have both chosen well.

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Hope you dig it, Nicki.  Let me know.  I’ll set you up with a Wordpress account sometime soon.

Did you know that Concert Panther’s first post on Beatswamp got snagged by MTV News?  WELL, now you do.  I meant to discuss it last week but everything on the planet sucks the moisture from my balls (the moat from my scrote) at the moment, so it kind’ve escaped my mind.  I just wanna put the fact that it happened on Splatterblog, so I can go back and look at this entry and cry myself into oblivion because I’m so goddamn proud of him.  Good on ya, sir.  Happy to have you on board

I have exactly ninety hojillion things I could be discussing right now, but none of them are that cool.  So fuck’em for tonight.  I’ll worry about them again in the morning.

PS

WHY IS DREAMHOST MAKING SPLATTERBLOG SLOW I WILL KILL IT WITH MY FISTS UNTIL I AM LEFT WITH NUBS.   Grrrrr to internet when it doesn’t work.

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Really?  I fuckin’ lolled.  No offense intended to anyone who’s incensed by whatever doings the dark bloglords of LJ have done to piss you off this time, but come on.  That’s retarded.

I need to let everyone here know that my voice sounds absolutely fucking stupid when it’s recorded.  However, if I mess with the pitch in Audacity…-7% seems to be the sweet spot…it is considerably less so, at least by my reckoning.   Audio is a force I’m far from mastering.  It is a new, challenging medium for me, and I’m not sure how deeply I plan on researching the options available.  Still fun though!

Unrelated, there’s a track up @ Beatswamp that’s all about software piracy.  It’s pretty hilarious.

Finnish rapping about piracy

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I put this all here so she can peruse it once she recovers:

1 - She was seeking me out in a ruined citsyscape, and the only reason she was able to find me was because I spent my time sitting in the bathroom, banging on my kneecaps to poop.  (This isn’t as nutty as it sounds, as when I was younger, I was scared to poop…had real trouble doing it.  The whole process just confused me.  She convinced me that banging on my knees while I was on the toilet would force the poop from my system.  It worked, but it isn’t a technique I use anymore).

2 - She has spent expended much energy in the endeavor of convincing everyone who will listen that she has installed multiple zippers on herself - on her wrist, on her chest, up her urethra.  I believe she is actually referring to the IV, Chemo Port and Catheter she’s currently forced to sport.  She pretty much tried to flash me an areola and I turned my head.  I got enough of that shit when I was milking her as a child…no need to see it, thankyaverramoosh.  She states (with the utmost veracity) that she had them installed in case she needs to quickly escape her body.  If she needs to dip out, all she’s gotta do is unzip the zippers and she’ll be free.

3 - SwitzX washed her hair, that’s why it’s clean.

4 - Her brother Ricky was flying outside her window (4rth floor ICU) and crying because he didn’t want to come inside.

5 - She spent “last night” (a lot of these crazy things have always allegedly gone down the night before) cooking Australian cuisine for various members of the family.

6 -  Members of the family that live elsewhere have come to visit her.

7 - She alleges to have spent time with my deceased Grandfather (her father) and dog (Little Bear).  The dog has run off with Grandpa’s toe (grandpa underwent a procedure to have his toe removed some small time before he left this plane of existence).  Grandpa says that if she isn’t careful that she’ll be seeing much more of him.

8 - There are anti-psychotic pills stored in her pillows.

9 - ZZZZZZZZ.

10 -  She has pooped on a police officer in an airplane.

11 - A great many other things I can’t recall at the moment.

There’s an apparent precedent for alla this hoo-hah.  DEMEROL.  Various branches of my Mother’s family tree have reacted poorly to it…my Grandfather got violent, so much so that the on-call  staff were forced to shut down an entire wing of the hospital during his stay.  My Aunt Bobo, who experienced vivid hallucinations involving pieces of chalk and the trees from which they grew.  Now my Mom, who’s litany of madness can be found just above these words.  No clue why I’m just learning this info…or why no one told the Doctor.  Easy mistake to make, I guess, with all that’s been going on.  Last night the Nurse took mi Madre off demerol, to see if it or the trauma to her brain is what’s keeping her confused and ridiculous…we find out today how that all went.  My Dad is there now, I get to go back at around 8:00 tonight after I get off another extended day of work.  I look forward to learning which force is the culprit here, and I think you can imagine which one I am hoping for (PROTIP:  Drugs, not brain trauma).  I’ll send an update later.

Sorry I ain’t been posting, people!  I’ve been scanning LJ and working a whole bunch (My Bosses of course will let me off whenever I need to go see my Mother, but I still need to work extended hours to deal with the massive work issues we’ve been having).  I haven’t been able to spend much time fucking around on the internet.  I work, I go see my mom, I see Gabby for like 45 minutes and then I pass out to start the whole process over again.  Beatswamp is suffering (COHORTS:  Now would be an AMAZING time to make a couple of posts).  I’m almost thankful that MU is down (for the moment, hopefully…no clue what the deal is there).  There are tumbleweeds blowing through Splatterblog.  The lack of content in all of these spheres that involve me is frustrating, but I know I’ll get back to it when I find the time.

I decided to cancel going to the They Might Be Giants concert tonight with Steve, but he was a good dude about the whole thing.  He knows I need to go hang with my Mom whenever I can.

OOOH, One thing I haven’t put on Etherspace yet…the mass found in her brain WAS NOT MALIGNANT.  It was, like…an ann-yor-izz-um or something, potentially unrelated to her cancer.  What the fuck.  I told her to watch her ass, because there was some unseen force gunning for her.  She was all like “I know.”  Let us hope that her madness has not allowed her access to some greater truth…and, so long as we’re hoping here, that I have not been tasked with establishing a chronicle of her last days on Earth.  I don’t think I am, honestly.  She has been improving exponentially since the surgery.  She is by no means “out of the woods” as of yet (she still has cancer, and now we gotta postpone her chemo so she can recover from fucking brain surgery), but I am generally optimistic.  She’s a tough lady.  The obvious dead-center of my family.  She dodged this bullet with a haphazard grace I should have expected.

Sometime soon she will have a “shunt” installed in her body, which is a tube that runs under her skin, from brain chamber to stomach, with the express purpose of dumping all excess cranial fluid back into her digestive system.  She will be a functional cyborg for the rest of her life.  I note this fact with a detached nod to science fiction and see it as kind of awesome.

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Okay, so you may (or may not) have noticed that Beatswamp.com has been 75% moi, 25% Skunk Ape.  I guess we launched at a bad time, because the balance of my cohorts seem to lead lives thick with activity…and, as such, are finding it difficult to formulate any posts.  No harm and no foul, guys…just please get to it when you are able.  I still most definitely want you involved, if you remain willing to be so.  In the meantime, however, Beatswamp needs content and is not meant to be the Madrock Recidivist show.  That’s Splatterblog 

Alla that said, I’d like to officially welcome AEAMEK to the proceedings!

I guess I can also post LDYGABILAN’s character again, since she’s in the same bailiwick:

I’m probably gonna redraw Internewt…he has given me the most trouble out of everyone involved.  El Frustratito with cheese.  Even looking at him now makes me embarrassed.  Heh.  No offense, dude, it ain’t you…it’s me.  I got issues.  I really dig how gFly came out, though.

Aeamek, now that your profile is done, I expect that Skunk Ape will be contacting you with some other information…even though I’ve yet to ask him to outside of this post.  He’s good like that.  I’ll get you both added to the banner soonish.

WIZARD NEEDS FOOD, BADLY 

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MadRock Recidivist

New Nine Inch Nails record available for download RIGHT NOW!

ghosts.nin.com — NIN surprises us with an unexpected self-released album: almost 2 hours / 36 instrumental tracks described as “music for daydreams.” Available as a $5 download, or a FREE album-length download, as well as a variety of physical configurations. The new business model done right?

All above text ripped from Digg…and I’ve yet to give it a listen myself. Still, imminently relevant to The Beatswamp and, honestly, the music industry in general. Trent Reznor’s proclination towards digital downloading has been well documented, and he seems to be putting his money where his maw is…quite literally. His music helped get me through my teens; I’m a staunch supporter of his efforts…so I’ll definitely be dropping him a cool five bones once I get some extra scratch. If you’ve ever enjoyed a NiN song, I highly recommend you do the same. We are all in the midst of a reinvention of how we snag music, and make no mistake: participation is key. Do yourself a favor and pony up.

You heard it here…second or third, probably

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