Splatterblog!

Mom picked up an infection from the hospital.  She currently has a fever of 102 (down from 107 on Saturday, though).  She is unresponsive and hard to rouse.  She sleeps a lot.

I’m trying to figure out how to keep the finances going, but I just found three credit cards today that I didn’t know about when I paid the bills last month…and they’re all behind.  Since my Parent’s credit is complete crap anyway, I am thinking of having them enter a debt consolidation program.  inb4 OH NO DON’T DO IT IT WILL HURT YOUR CREDIT, because the name of THIS game is keeping the ship afloat…and as I said, the credit is shite regardless.  This isn’t about being able to put a down payment on a yacht later on in life.  I need to keep the fuckin’ power on.

I was discussing the issues with my friends Jawbrok, Samplebitch and Wretchedbabydol over the weekend…and there was a notion discussed that had the potential to fully alleviate the monetary aspect of my familial trials.  My Parents could “Gift” me the home’s equity, and I could use that money as a down payment on a new mortgage for the remaining balance…essentially, it would turn into ME owning their house, with THEM paying a hella reduced mortgage.  Unfortunately, the following facts come into play:

1 - My parents bought the house in 2k1 for $69,000.00

2 - They refinanced two years ago, morphing their new mortgage balance into the Godzilla-level threat of $140,000.00

3 - The current market value of their home is between $101,000.00 and $120,000.00

Negative equity obviates the notion.  No dice on this one, people.  Well, MAYBE…Jawbrok works in finance, and we should be discussing things later this week…maybe figure out if there’s another option available to me.  There doesn’t appear to be one, but it couldn’t hurt to keep your fingers crossed.

What else….lessee…

Oh yeah, I absolutely despise these problems that keep creeping up.  They are tremendous obsidian dicks that want to fuck me in the ass.  I have my guard up, certainly - no despair yet - but I’m seriously getting tired of dodging their strokes.  More seem to swarm every day.  It is difficult to remain rectally celibate when my passage-most-tender is so OBVIOUSLY attractive to these perpetually looming negative forces.  Someone, anyone, save me from all of this cock.