Guys,

My Mother was diagnosed with breast cancer on 01/04/08 (her birthday), and I’ve kept relatively quiet about it since then…a lumpectomy procedure was performed and the mass was removed.  We found out yesterday, however, that the issue has advanced to “Stage Two” and spread to her lymphatic system.  The prognosis isn’t good - she has no medical insurance and must undergo hellish bouts of chemotherapy or else she’ll die.  There’s more going on here, but that’s the short of it.

[cut text about work and my ties to it]

All that said, I will be leaving here for one of these modified lunch breaks at Noon today to discuss the particulars of an alternate avenue of treatment that will (God Willing) obviate the bulk of this e-mail.

~ Josh 

My Bosses were really great about the whole thing.

This is a letter I wrote to my Mom’s Doctor regarding a brand spankin’ new (as of 2007…seriously) treatment that I wanted to make sure he’s aware of.  This is not an act of hubris on my part - the treatment in question involves a hella cheap, allegedly hella effective chemical called DCA, which has been prescribed to people for over thirty years as a treatment for certain types of metabolic disfunction.  It is non-toxic and has been shown to kill/significantly eliminate human cancer cells in a manner of weeks, all the while leaving normal, uninfected cells alone.

The reasons you probably haven’t heard of it are twofold:  One, the afore-mentioned newness of the notion.  Even though it’s been prescribed to people for longer than I’ve been alive, people just figured this shit out recently…and TWO:  It is a chemical, therefore entirely un-patentable.  This places a drastic limitation on how much money the Pharmacuetical companies can make on such a thing.  No exclusivity available means that no one is willing to fund the research.  PEOPLE LIKE MY MOTHER ARE DYING EVERY DAY BECAUSE BIG BUSINESS CAN’T SEE A PROFIT.  It is probably the single most reprehensible act ever perpetrated on my family, and - by God - it will not stand.

Armed with knowledge, I composed the following letter and placed it on a USB Thumbdrive for my Mom to give her Doctor:

Resource Links For Doctor Verification 

Doctor, you have the power to prescribe my Mother this medication.  It is a safe, cheap, unable-to-be-patented chemical that has been available for more than thirty years as a deterrent to certain metabolic disorders.  It has been proven to destroy cancer cells while leaving healthy ones alone. 

I beg of you, watch the following short video: 

http://youtube.com/watch?v=7LXH-TJYS5w 

…and then peruse the following sites for more data.  You will see that this avenue of treatment is relatively new, but people are taking it and experiencing success.  Feel free to share this with others if you wish…just please, consider the benefits such a prescription could be in my Mother’s case.  We do not have much in the way of money, and Chemotherapy may not be the best option for us. *

I leave it to your judgment, with my undying thanks for your sincere consideration.

Absolute Warmest Regards,

Joshua Lee Maynard 

*[mainly because it will cost 35 thousand dollars, reduced to 18 thousand dollars.  They expect her to come up with that in the next two weeks.  It’s entirely fucking ridiculous.]

I tried to be as succinct and respectful as possible.  I hope that assists me in this endeavor.

As far as familial strength in the face of adversity:  I believe we’re doing fine.  We are all, of course, absolutely fucking terrified that my Mom’s gotta go through this…but I tell you what, man.  She’s a fighter.  She’s a rock of chick, and if anyone is gonna be able to get through this with a smile on her face…it’s mi Madre.  She is the great trunk through which my family draws its nutrients, and I have the utmost faith in her resolve.  I could not have asked for a finer Mother.

I haven’t been discussing this on LJ…or anywhere else, really.  It’s kind of difficult for me.  With the advent of stage two, however, it’s time to stop fucking around.  A proactive, positive stance is called for.

Splatterblog is pink until we get through this.

MrFurious is pink until we get through this.

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Experience the joy of blasting galactic nut

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I am out of step with my state.

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DING DING DING DING

That was the correct answer! You win the presidency!

We would have also accepted nearly anything stated by Republican hopeful Ron “I kinda make Josh wanna cross party lines sometimes” Paul.

I sit here…and I think. I muse. I PONDER. On the one hand, I like the cut of Obama’s jib. He’s said a lot of great stuff, and if I maintain my course…I’m gonna vote for him. Hell, I voted for him this morning. I dig the idea of the leader of the free world swinging a big fat dick at all of our problems; it gives me a small measure of confidence. I think that he will ultimately be a good thing for the planet.

That second video, though, man…shit. It’s epic in scope. It makes me wanna stand back to back with Ron Paul in a darkened alleyway and assist in the ass-beating of all kinds of monsters. I haven’t felt like we have an actual shot at having a superhero run the country since Al Gore…and, I gotta tell ya, Ron Paul’s got that kinda mojo. The things he states in the above clip, to me, get at the core of issues that NEED to be addressed. I don’t see him wearing God on his lapel like The Creator is a fucking Pokemon Badge, I don’t see him bringing God into the picture to convince sheep that he’s got “morals”. I don’t hear him bleating the same shit I’ve heard all the other parasites state the near-entirety of my life. I don’t hear him lying.

I GUARANTEE I don’t know what the hell I’m talking about nine times outta ten…but I can’t watch the above clip and not come out of it thinking that Ron Paul is an utterly heroic figure. Dead set on fixing things in a fashion that makes sense to me, from Health Care to Taxes…from governmental transparency and accountability…to this thrice-cursed fucking war that is counter-intuitive to any decent thought.

I am of the opinion - and I’ve stated this before, trust me, I say it all the fucking time - that the two party system is complete shit. Puppet Vs Puppet, all along the goddamn watchtower. I may have to prove it to myself by going Republican. Ron Paul seems to be the dude that can make that title mean something to me beyond what it does now.

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I can’t delete it.  It’s like a train wreck that I get to keep looking at.

• Tekalpha sends the following along:

Using “favorite books” data from Facebook and the average SAT/ACT scores…

Using “favorite books” data from Facebook and the average SAT/ACT scores from the colleges the people in the data set attend, Virgil Griffith plotted a graph of “books that make you dumb”. Lolita, 100 Years of Solitude, and Crime and Punishment were the “smartest” books while the Zane erotica books are the “dumbest”. (via o’reilly radar) (link)

I don’t think I’ve read anything on that list.  I bet that means I’m retarded.

• Why can’t you guys be more awesome like JMPierce and pimp me out in your LJs?  You fuckers are slippin’.

• I think I’d make a good Copywriter.  I’d be way better at Copy Editing, however.

• Anyway, I sure wish I was able to go get some grub.  I need some food up ins.  Stupid not being able to leave the office and shit.  Chaps my ass, I tell ya.

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